The Adolescence Paradox

I just want to be "NORMAL"

This phrase (or some variation of it) can be found in almost every young adult novel or teen television show ever made. Go on, think about it, I’ll give you a minute...the statement is usually uttered by the “not normal” character, who is gifted with some amazing supernatural or just really cool ability that any one of us would die for (i.e ability to fly or do really hard math, in their head, in 10 seconds) when that ability some how hinders them from connecting with the boy/girl they are madly in love with....Are you with me?!

I have come to expect this statement to be uttered at some point in every teen show and this year’s crop of teen shows has yet to disappoint. I actually think in Teen Wolf he manages to whine it twice in one episode.

But here’s the thing “teens” NO ONE WANTS TO BE NORMAL

No one actually wants to be normal because normal is boring. When you are normal you are invisible and the last thing you really want as to be as a teenager is invisible (I know I felt invisible ALL OF the time and hated it). However, I realize now (15 years later) that this is the paradox of adolescence. As a teen you feel invisible BUT you don’t want to stand out. Having this battle with yourself 24/7 365 would make anyone crazy, moody and depressed which is what most teens are.

Recently in the news there have been celebrities who have lamented that all they wanted to was to be normal in high school but I challenge you “celebrities.” You didn’t! If you wanted to be boring or normal you could have been but instead you stood out and that took you all they way to the top. While I can understand, no one wants to be or should be bullied and harassed in school and being “normal”/invisible is a way to avoid that, celebrating your uniqueness and diversity is how to WIN in life.
In a world of celery and carrot sticks, pears and kumquats are revered.

I am reexamining all of the messages that I was fed (and we are currently feeding )as a teen and I think this one should change. So here is a thought writers, the next time a character with an AMAZING ability says “I just want to be normal” have the the best friend to say “ No you don’t, normal is invisible and I don’t have invisible friends.”

-Squirt